The past month has been good for me in that it has awakened long dormant feelings and ambitions that I am only now starting to act upon.
Part of this has, of course, been connected with my domestic situation at home, which, after the mother of all discussions and arguments, seems, for the first time in a long time, well and truly on the mend.
But, this development had been well over a year in the making, so I began to view life from a complete different perspective than I had done previously.
I began to contemplate a life apart.
Though grievances and secrets are now in the open, there remains inside me a reserve, a resolve, that still wants to explore this idea of more self-sufficiency in my life despite the decision not to change our status quo.
For two reasons…
One, it has been a practice of mine to take the path of least resistance, not to attempt to do new things for fear of conflict or difficulty. I am dissatified with this practice and now want to face my fears by attempting new things and learn by doing.
Two, I want to prove to myself that I am more than just part of a couple, that I can rely on myself, finanically and emotionally, regardless of whether I am in a relationship or not.
I have resolved to devote more time and energy into an activity that I have loved but neglected for far far too long…writing.
At present, I have ideas for magazine writing as well as a great genesis of an idea for a novel!
Of course, I will not stop working at other jobs to keep body and soul intact, and my own meagre contribution to bread and butter to the communal table continuing.
But I do this not for fame or wealth, but as an expression of the need to create and write, regardless of success, though of course recognition and reward for my efforts won´t be rejected!
Rather than despairing about lack of accomplishment in the past or fearing rejection in the future, I simply want to write in the moment and just see what happens…
I have been recently inspired by a project I am developing involving walking and social reform.
I want to explore the world, starting with Switzerland, on foot and examine the places I see and the people I meet from the duality of what makes them special and what could be improved, what makes a community beautiful and how it deals with issues like poverty, unemployment, equality, etc.
The starting point of this project is a nature preserve at the northernmost tip of Switzerland, only 1 1/2 hours away by bus and train, a place as yet unvisited but whose description has already inspired me.
Imagine there is a place where the secret of eternal life can be found.
What would people do to protect it? To claim it?
If death could be defeated, should it be?
What if a plant held the secrets of longevity but it was a rare plant indeed?
What is the danger of an exclusive group having this secret while others are denied?
Granted these themes are not new, but there are always new ways to rediscover these themes.
These are the seeds germinating in my mind for a novel.
I want to avoid any comparison with James Hilton’s Lost Horizon (Shangra-la) or Biblical references to the Garden of Eden and instead examine the questions of life versus death, reasons nations go to war and individuals fight, and the pros and cons of immortality in a story that only I can tell.
I have decided to increase my blog output…my daily dosage of observations as per usual and a Dickensian weekly serialisation of a novel as a work-in-progress.
Today, I will work on a rough plot and characters and will soon announce the arrival of Chapter One. Each blog will be a rough draft of what I hope will eventually find its way upon a bookshelf, so what is read here will not necessarily be the final version later on.
Watch this blog!
Feedback, both positive and negative, is extremely welcome.